1. |
Act Out
04:17
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What has been happening to you lately
I am chronically helpless, show me how to behave for you, and I will
I'll ask myself, I'll ask myself to learn
For who could I be without the terror of your conditional love
I'm not thinking about myself
I'm only thinking about what I hate
Valour make me so unstoppable
Take all my strength to engage
When it builds up, when it cries out, when it breaks
Strip the harm until there can be nothing left to reflect
You want your pain to comfort you, plead to your pain to comfort you
But it never does, but it never does
Immerse yourself in what you know, chaotic with your self control
But it never helps, but it never will grant forgiveness, twist you into the right
I'm not thinking about myself
I'm only thinking about what I hate
Tremor give me all of my resolve
So I will not be unchanged
When it builds, when it cries, when it breaks
How can you look at me in the face
And believe that the source of all of your rage
Comes from mine
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2. |
Two Lengths Apart
04:20
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If you don't trust my experience
If you don't trust mine
Better put your hand in the fire
If you don't trust my experience
If you don't trust mine
Better put your hand in the fire
This is serious
This is serious
God this is serious
Better look back on your way down
This is serious
This is serious
God this is serious
Who will you influence
Your anger is loss
My anger is education
Now that we are two lengths apart
Do you discover
Who is the powerful witness
My arrogance is slow
Your arrogance is unforgiving
You are looking for exits
You are looking for something to compromise
Something to compromise
If you don't trust my experience
If you don't trust mine
How will you look further
If you don't trust my experience
If you don't trust mine
How will it get better
This is serious
This is serious
God this is serious
Better look back on your way down
This is serious
This is serious
God this is serious
Better put your hand in the fire
Your anger is loss
My anger is education
Now that we are two lengths apart
Do you discover
Who is the powerful witness
My arrogance is slow
Your arrogance is unforgiving
You are looking for exits
You are looking for something to compromise
Something to compromise
You can't repress your pain
and it runs from floor to ceiling
You are desperate for me
To live within its shadow
So you can tell yourself you're fine
But that elegance is gone
And its force is unrelenting
You look for something to change your mind
Something to change your mind
You can’t change your mind
You can’t change my mind
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3. |
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This is the strongest one yet
I don't know what to do with my hands
What can I crush out of the mire
Tethered to an irate frame of mind
I don't wanna do this all of the time
I need to feel control
What builds to kindness in your eyes
Why do I strike into what I crave
I don’t hesitate
No sense keeping it to yourself
If you can fuck over everyone
And isolate
It's just another reason to give up
It's just another way we don't come across
I'll never have to be
I'm never going to need to be someone
This is the strongest one yet
I don't know what to do with my hands
How can I keep myself alive
Tethered to an irate frame of mind
I don't wanna do this all of the time
But I still think about you
Your god is delicate
You cry to it every night
it writhes, it begs you to be loved
There's always cycles you can't break
You have the language but not the strength
To hold yourself against it
It's just another reason to give up
It's just another way we don't come across
I'll never have to be
I'm never going to need to be someone
Who do you think will rest on your shoulder?
When the need to escape is so tremendous
I'll never have to be, I'm never going to need
To be someone
I'm not shutting down cause I want to
I am paralyzed and in shock
And I don't need a reason to tell you no
It’s now cutting out of the inside
You're not within my power to change
I don't need another reason to be so afraid of you
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4. |
In Order To Live
04:01
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All at once the calm dissipates
Temporary, but I like it when you throb in my eardrum
And I am watching you from the other side
Every night there is someplace else
Every night the nagging at the back of your mind
As we are drawn closer to this land
If this works this could be the last time
If this works this won’t be the last time
What’s before us in disguise
I can’t give it a rest, give it a rest
Which is worse this evil
Or to turn away encased
As is customary for you
Protection is a lane I would never decide
Every night there is nowhere else
Every night the longing at the back of my mind
What would I give away for an interception
Grieving, I try to give it up, give it up
But still the thought persists,
Which is worse, you won’t say
Which is worse, you won’t say
In order to live like this I must stop, question
What is it worth to leave myself behind
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5. |
Morning
03:15
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Morning, I'm
preoccupied
Focus, focus
I make no
Allowances
Forget, forget
Are you grateful
For my absence
This cavity, this seething
Do you feel loss
Did it carve its
facsimile, into who you are
You were not born to live like this
Why do you ask if you don't care
You were not born to live like this
Why do you ask if you don't care
Morning, I've
Lost the fight again
I keep breathing
But nothing comes to me
I'm pushing up
But with every motion
I can’t remind myself
Of what I’m healing from
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6. |
The Obvious Answer
04:20
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Pushed out of my own fear
I want to share this feeling with you
If I can't find a way to tell you
Express it once then it disappears
What's worth thinking over
A forceful way to be superior
If I can't find a way to tell you
What kind of truth can we sustain here
Separate draw composure
Distance is on your side, you can overcome me
Are you really sorry
Show yourself
What does it take to crash through
Is close enough the obvious answer
Tough luck, no embraces
There's nothing to it, that's what they said
If I can't find a way to tell you
A question rises, is this dangerous
Maybe it will be so different this time
This time seems dazzling, dazzling
Shot by the sun in my eyes
You’re the undercurrent of all my thoughts
And I rush to help your every pulse
Is this the right thing
What does it take to crash through, what does it take to crash through
A new contender, a new rampant unhappiness
I will make sure to let the chaos circle
Body left to fester
You’re the undercurrent of all my thoughts
And I rush to help your every pulse
Dazzling dazzling
What does it take to crash through, is close enough the obvious answer
Separate draw composure
Distance is on your side, you can overcome me
Are you really sorry
Show yourself
What does it take to crash through
What does it take to crash through
Separate so you can conquer me
Distance is on your side, a bleak resemblance
Are you really sorry
Show yourself
What does it take to crash through
Is close enough the obvious answer
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7. |
Risk Me
03:49
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You said yes
I can feel the stretch and reach
It’s okay to be afraid but don’t fixate
Now that I know, now that I know what I want but can’t attain, attain, attain
Now that I know, now that I’ve seen, all the beauty of your life unravelling
Will you risk me
What’s your fate
How are you so compelling
Why are you so bright, vivid, so pleased
And I’ll be caught running in this town away from his
And I’ll change, without cause, crying in a heartbeat on the call
If there’s no limit to what we’ll experience
Can I accept that I am flawed
And that you will be here without me
You said yes, but what does that mean
Why am I so driven to this cause
Do I even like this version of myself
Now that I know, now that I know what I want but can’t attain, attain, attain
Now that I know, now that I know that I might be sacrificing everything
And I’ll be caught running in this town away from his
And I’ll change, without cause, crying in a heartbeat on the call
If there’s no limit to what we’ll experience
Can I accept that I am flawed
And that you will be here without me
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8. |
JTR
02:00
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I can’t wait, I can’t wait
To go home
It is torturous just to remember
Just to remember
It is the same of course
It’s in the cage that you cry from
Use of unequal force
How will you engage if you ever
If I choose to fight then it’s everywhere
If I stay unchanged I’m not safe
What will emerge from all this unhappiness
What can be gained from all of this, trouble, trouble
I can’t wait for you to come home
It’s a full time job just to recover
Just to recover
It is the same of course
It’s in the cage that you cry from
Use of unequal force
How will you engage if you ever
If I choose to fight then it’s everywhere
If I stay unchanged I’m not safe
What will emerge from all this unhappiness
What can be gained from all of this, trouble, trouble
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9. |
Pleaser
05:34
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Wash yourself off onto me
I have not seen the light in weeks
Noxious water
fought it off on my knees
I'm not helpless
I will bring my own peace
Is this how you speak to me?
vile yet eager
I am the least of your pain
self-defeatist
crippled by what's happening
I'm no pleaser
I don't go back to my place
Can you cope with listening
Gather pieces
but the reflection's too vague
aimless, joyless
Corrupt from power you save
I'm no master
If I'm not allowed to be
Is this how you deviate
Pry at weakness
Emerge from a silent pain
with no purpose
Collapse in front of your dream
I'm no pleaser
I'll show you what I've come for
Left with neglect
And loss, I will not remain
Why would I spend my time, spend my time
Waiting around for nothing
Is it not enough to say
I have been brave
It takes actions and actions, actions and actions
To mend what has been wrought
Who would remain
Spend my time waiting around for nothing
Who would remain
Spend my time waiting around for nothing to change
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10. |
The Arc is Spinning
04:54
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When the arc snaps back we will never know fear
In the meantime we laugh when we're nervous
And the pain you felt, did it ever heal
I can see you hang your bitterness higher
I could turn you into the place where I write
In the meantime I am humming at the surface
And the pain I felt, did it ever heal
If I unearth the past will it seize my desire
But I don't write it off
I don't turn to the other side
Lash back at the tumultuous mire
How disempowered we make ourselves for others
And the pain you felt did it ever heal
I can see it stand up, unerased from your mind
Can the combination exist
can you grieve and bow to it
And I am in all places at once
Intimately connected at all the right times
And the pain I felt did it ever heal
When the surface tension breaks I survive
I don't write it off
I don't turn to the other side
Now the arc is spinning just like it wants to
And your head is spinning just like it wants to
But I know something about you I didn't before
Your trust lets me in
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AC-PDF Vancouver, British Columbia
Introspective art rock. Vancouver BC
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